A newsletter of simple ideas #23 -- March 2000
The Pursuit of Happiness, part 2: Purpose
In the first part of this series, I talked about how knowing your values can help you to simplify your life and be more happy. This issue will cover how having a clear life purpose can build upon your values and help you to get to that same goal of a simpler, more fulfilling life.
Money-Saving Tip:Use the Library Now I know that I often have links in my Reasonably Simple articles to books on Amazon.com. If you follow these links and purchase a book there, I get a small kickback from them for sending them business. And I appreciate that because it helps support my continued work on Reasonably Simple. However, if you want to save money, go get these books at the library--it's a lot cheaper. And recently, I've been surprised at how many books I've been able to find at the library. At one time in my life, most of the books I wanted seemed to be in Library No-Man's Land. These days, though, I haven't had a problem. My problem now is reading all the ones I've requested! If your local branch doesn't have a book, ask a librarian if you can get it through interlibrary loan. The Seattle Public Library has a great system, and you can look up books, put checked-out books on hold, and renew your books all via the Web. They'll deliver the book you want to whatever branch you choose and let you know when it's arrived. |
A life purpose may be harder to define than values. I like to think of it as a direction in which to move. While values are qualities that can be present or not in any given situation, a purpose is more active--it's where I'm going when I do act. My own purpose is "to inspire thought, power, playfulness, and questing with elegance and resourcefulness." At least, that's how I put it in my own "purpose statement." If my values help me to know which choice to make in the moment, my purpose tells me what I'll be doing if I am consistant in honoring those values.
And how can knowing your purpose help on the path to simplicity? Like values, a purpose can guide your actions. When you are "on purpose," that is, taking action that furthers your life purpose, things will automatically be more simple because they're all directed at the same goal. Your actions will be focused, and work together to move you in the direction you want to go. If you are not "on purpose," you will probably feel pulled in all different directions--because, in essence, you are; your actions are taking you down different paths at the same time.
So how do you figure out your life purpose? Some people know it consciously without having to think about it. These people usually talk about having a "calling." If you know your calling, skip on to the "Using Your Purpose Statement" section. For those that don't (I'm assuming that's most of us), I've got a couple of ways you can figure yours out.
Finding Your Purpose Exercise 1
Get out your list of values. If you did a big brainstorm for your values, you might want to look at the entire list you brainstormed. The more ideas the merrier. Look at your list of words and pull out any action words, as they may be very important to creating your purpose. Look at the non-verb words and ask yourself "What would be the best way to act to bring these qualities into my life?" Or, if it works better for you, "What activities are most aligned with these values?" Or even "How can I live my values?"
When you've got some good answers to those questions, take a moment to reflect on what you've got. Pay attention to how you feel emotionally and physically as you review them. Do any of them make you feel a little excited? Or anxious? If it's anxious in a this-doesn't-feel-right way, discard whatever word, phrase, or statement elicited that response. If it's anxious in a kind of this-feels-right-somehow-but-way-too-big way, hold onto it! You may have just discovered your purpose.
Keep sorting until you have some good stuff, then try to fashion it into a fairly brief statement--something you could memorize and recite in under 15 seconds. (My purpose takes me a little over 5 seconds, for example). If it's too long, it'll be hard to let it guide you. Don't cut it shorter--distill it. Choose different words to make it both more essential and concentrated, and allow you to use fewer words.
And have fun. Some people take days, weeks, or even years to come up with something. You're just looking for a rough draft here. You can change it when it doesn't seem to fit. You can modify it as you go. Just get something that is sufficiently broad and big-picture to guide your actions, powerful enough to motivate you towards the goal, and short enough that you can remember it!
Finding Your Purpose Exercise 2
For those that are just starting on the simplicity path and don't yet have the time to be so introspective or can't find a quiet space to reflect, I offer the Finding Your Purpose Shortcut Method. This is how I first got onto the track of my life purpose in a workshop by Dave Ellis, author of Creating Your Future. He said, "It's easy. Just write down on a piece of paper The purpose of my life is to... and then finish the sentence." And it worked. My first draft was: The purpose of my life is to help people to think, question assumptions, learn, and play. My current one, after over two years of reflection and refinement, is: My purpose is to inspire thought, power, playfulness, and questing with elegance and resourcefulness. Notice the similarities? And the first version took me no longer than two minutes to come up with.
Using Your Purpose Statement
So you've got a purpose statement that will do for now. How do you use it to simplify your life? Much like I wrote about in the first part on values, you can do a "spring cleaning" of your life, getting rid of the parts of your life that aren't "on purpose." Or, you can go step-by-step if you prefer a slow-and-steady pace. Each time an opportunity comes up for you, ask yourself if it will further your purpose. If it doesn't, turn it down, no matter how exciting it may seem to you at the moment. Or, if the opportunity does seem to be somehow in alignment with your purpose but doesn't fit into your purpose statement, take some time to modify your statement to incorporate the values and actions that make the opportunity such a great thing. And try the new statement on for a while to see how it feels. If it feels more on target, keep it. If not, go back to what you had before.
I used my purpose statement to guide me to a new career. My rough-draft statement was, as I said above, to "help people think, question assumptions, learn, and play." I compared it to my job (which was, at the time, essentially data entry...even though I had the fancy title of Managing Editor). Was writing product descriptions and entering information into a database helping people to think? No. Question assumptions? Mmmm...not really. Learn? Well, maybe, depending on what kind of learning you're talking about. And play? Well, yes--the products were all games. So it was somewhat aligned with my purpose, but not as well as it could.
I thought about that for a long time. Over the next six or seven months, I learned about life coaching. I compared what I knew of that career to my purpose. Help people think? Yup. Question assumptions? Yup, part of the job description. Learn? The International Coach Federation (ICF) includes "clients deepen their learning learning" as part of its definition of coaching. And play? Well, that would certainly come about if I used humor and games with my clients...so yes. Alignment in all four areas. So I immediately started to take action to move me towards that new career--I took on a free client with his understanding that I was practicing my skills on him. I read books about coaching, and researched schools. And now I'm a full-time coach.
And doing so has simplified my life in many, many ways.
Quote of the Month
The purpose of your life is to make life wonderful.
Editor's Notes
It is currently February 2001 but I'm only just posting the March 2000 Reasonably Simple. My intention is that over the next year, I will write and post a new article about every other week, so that by the end of the year, I'll be current again. So, I'd appreciate suggestions, guest writers, or anything else that could help me step up production this year.
You can contact me with your submissions, suggestions, or comments at:
Michael J. Coffey
PO Box 23221
Seattle, WA 98102
(206) 522-6224
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