A newsletter of simple ideas #22 -- February 2000

The Pursuit of Happiness, part 1: Values

This issue I thought I'd talk about what's at the root of this whole Voluntary Simplicity thing--that is, happiness. Embarking on the journey of the "simplifier" is to start exploring what happiness really means to you, then keeping what brings you the feeling of happiness or satisfaction and letting go of what does not. In this two-part series on happiness, I'll cover two important areas to give your pursuit of happiness a boost--values, and purpose.

Values are the abstract qualities that are important to you. Values are also common among all people as well, though every person has their own set of priorities for those values. Some people value honesty more highly than financial security. Some people value contribution, being of service, or loyalty more than autonomy or self-expression. And, of course, other people are the opposite.

The important thing to note about values as they relate to voluntary simplicity is what your settings are. Why? Because I have found that for me there is almost a one-to-one correspondence between things I do in alignment with my most important values and good feelings. On the other hand, there is the same correspondence between actions that conflict with my main values and negative feelings. In short, being clear on what is most important to you, and acting in integrity with those values, will make you happier.

So how do you figure out what your main values are? As a coach, I have worked with lots of different methods, two of which I will explain here to give you a practical tool to use on your voluntary simplicity journey.

Clarifying Values Exercises

The first way to find your values is the old brainstorm-then-narrow approach. Basically, think of all of the needs or values you think people might have. Here are some to get you started: Authenticity, Celebration, Integrity, Self-Worth, Creativity, Appreciation, Community, Empathy, Safety (Emotional, Physical, Spiritual, Financial), Respect, Support, Autonomy, Trust, Exercise, Rest, Touch, Harmony, Beauty.

Next, go through your list and pick the ten most important to you. One way to do this is to simply put a star next to ten of them. Another way is to compare each one to each of the others and ask yourself "If I had a conflict between these two values, which would I choose to honor?" and give that one a point. The highest scoring ones win. However you do it, get ten. Then narrow it to five. Then put those five in order of their importance. Then celebrate, because you've got a pretty good idea of what your five most important values are.

The second method for clarifying your values approaches this from the other direction. Think of things that really make you mad, or sad, or cause really intense negative emotions. These emotions usually come from an important need going unmet. So for each situation, ask yourself "What value or need is not being honored here?" For example, I felt a lot of negative emotions when hearing the news about the election in Florida. What values do I have that weren't met by the situation? Authenticity, truth, honesty, fairness, equality, and harmony. Those were the qualities that I felt were missing from that whole situation. And those are important values for me.

You may get more than a few values doing this exercise, but the list can be narrowed in the same way as in the brainstorm above.

Values, Happines, and Voluntary Simplicity

So you've got your values. Now what? Well, depending on your style, you may find it useful to do a "spring cleaning" of your life. Think of how your spend your time, and your money. Think of how you use space in your home, and how you interact with others. Think about who you interact with. Hold each of these things up to your highest values and greatest needs. What doesn't support and honor and reflect your values? Or, more important still, what actually contradicts your values? This is where voluntary simplicity rubber hits the real life road. Choose (remember, it's voluntary) a few things that contradict or fail to support your values and drop them from your life. Don't replace them yet with something else unless it's really necessary (for example, if you value health, dropping junk food is a good thing, but it's also a good idea to replace it with more nutritious food rather than simply not eating). That space that's left over? That's the simplicity part. Feel it. Relish it. Enjoy it. It's what slowing down feels like.

Another way to go about it, either as an alternative or as a way of maintaining the space gained in your spring cleaning, is to call upon your values to make day-to-day decisions. Before making a decision, ask yourself "What option is the best way to honor or support my top values?" The more important the decision, the more important to do this. Doing so will keep you on a path of alignment and help keep those value-drainers at bay. It's also great integrity training, giving you practice at acting in a way that brings you good feelings, self esteem, dignity, and all of the other positives that come from honoring your values.

Next issue, Part 2: Purpose

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